The Grass is Always Greener
by CrushingOnSans
Summary: In Undertale, Classic Sans loves his brother more than anything. Its the same for so many versions of himself. However, they can never receive that love back because every time it resets, Papyrus forgets everything. In UnderFell, the brothers found their love for each other long before the resets started. Red wakes up every reset in his brothers arms, and there are so many versions


The Great and Terrible Papyrus drooled in his sleep. Sans could remember a time when that had been the funniest thing he had ever seen. The first time he had fallen asleep next to his brother, only to wake up in a small puddle, he had woken Papyrus up with his laughter.

Sans stood in the doorway, remembering that moment, and he frowned. When had he lost that? Which reset had it been, the first time he woke up next to a drooling Papyrus, that he hadn't found any joy in it?

He watched his brother quietly, waiting for him to wake up. He had stood in this doorway countless times. He knew exactly when Papyrus's eyes would blink open, and he knew exactly what would happen if he stayed in the bed next to him when that happened. He couldn't remember exactly when he had stopped wanting that, but it had been a lot of resets since he had started standing in the doorway to avoid it.

Papyrus stirred slightly, like he always did, then he opened his eyes. He looked around blearily for sans and when he saw him, he smiled brightly. There wasn't much to smile about in this world. It used to mean everything Sans that all it took was the sight of him for his brother to be happy. Now, it just hurt.

"Sans," Papyrus said tiredly, still smiling. He sat up slowly, stretching. His bare ribs gleaned in the light, his numerous scars standing out in stark contrast from the smooth areas of bone.

Sans couldn't even find it in himself to smile back. He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't take his brother loving him like this when he hadn't felt the same in what felt like years. He had never been able to find it in himself to break his brothers heart. He still loved him, more than anything. Just...not like that. Not anymore.

Sans sighed heavily, rubbing his eye sockets. Then he forced a smile onto his face. "Hey, Boss. Sleep well?" he asked. His voice sounded too high, false and pained.

Papyrus looked at him for a moment, confusion evident on his face. "Yeah...yeah, I slept fine. Sans...are you okay?"

Sans couldn't get himself to make eye contact. He looked at his feet. How could he even be considering this? He couldn't do this to his brother. He couldn't take any small amount of happiness away from him.

"Yeah, Boss. I'm great. I'm gonna go make breakfast."

He turned on his heel and blipped down to the kitchen, still unable to look Papyrus in the face.

He braced himself up against the counter and took a few heaving breaths. He couldn't do this, he couldn't pretend anymore, he couldn't do this anymore, but how could he not, he had to keep doing this, it would be okay, it was just a relationship, it's fine, he could do this, no he couldn't, that was his brother, what had he been thinking?

Sans closed his eyes, still leaning up against the counter. He had done this exact thing so many times now. He had gotten so close, so close to ending it, to taking away Papyrus's smile. How could he be so selfish? He still loved his brother, he didn't want to hurt him. He would give anything not to have to hurt him.

Including his own happiness? Without a doubt.

But Sans was so tired. Reset after reset, falling out of love so slowly, repeating the same few days over and over and over again. Nothing was ever new unless Sans made it so. Nothing was ever different.

He was just so tired.

He heard Papyrus coming down the stairs a few moments later, and hurriedly pulled out some food. He poured cereal into bowls and added milk as his brother came into the room.

"Wow. Impressive cooking skills. This is practically a gourmet meal. How do you do it?" Came the somewhat sarcastic voice from behind him.

Normally, Sans would turn and he would force a grin and he would respond with some stupid pun about breakfast. He turned, but he couldn't get himself to smile, to joke. Instead, to his horror, his eyes filled with tears. He spun back around, clutching to the counter again.

He heard Papyrus cross the room quickly, felt his arms wrap around him from behind.

"Sans, what the fuck is going on? You are not okay. Please, tell me what's wrong and how I can help you."

Sans was still crying, and now he was shaking too. How could he have ever loved this so much? The feel of his brothers arms around him felt too intimate, too loving in all the wrong ways. It left him feeling vaguely ill.

He felt Papyrus's fingers on his cheekbone, turning hus head, and then he was kissing him.

Sans couldn't help his reaction. He jumped sideways, away from the kiss, away from his brother's embrace. He backed away, into a wall, hands out in front of him in a position of surrender.

"Please... Please don't..." The sound of his own voice shocked him. He sounded so weak, weaker than he had heard himself sound since they were children, starving in the streets of the Capitol. "Boss...please...I can't do this"

Papyrus looked as though he wanted to cross the room and comfort him, but he wasn't sure how. "Sans?"

How could he do this? How could he possibly do this to the person he loved most in the world? The look on his face hurt, it physically hurt, but now that he had started, he couldn't seem to stop going.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending!" That was the wrong thing to say. Papyrus looked absolutely crushed. "Aw, hell, Boss, I don't mean-i mean, it doesn't make any sense to you, know, but I loved you yesterday. I did, I really did, but I just...I can't...I don't want to be with you like that, Boss. I just can't be with you like that anymore, it's killin' me!"

Papyrus stumbled slightly, gripping onto the same counter that Sans had just been using to prop himself up. "I..." His voice sounded too thick, like he was holding back tears, and he was looking at Sans like he had never seen him before. "Did I do something wrong?" He whispered.

Sans wanted more than anything to walk forward and wrap his arms around him, to comfort him as a brother, to do anything to make him feel better, to take it back and see that smile again. But he couldn't.

"No, no, of course not, Boss. Of course not. You're amazin'. I just...we're brothers! I mean, what the fuck are we doin'?" He didn't know how to do this, he didn't know the right things to say, if there even was a right thing to say. "Boss, I'm so sorry."

Damn it, he was crying. He hadn't seen Papyrus cry since he was shorter than him, he didn't know how to deal with this. Anything he did was likely to make it worse.

"D-dont...Don't be s-sorry. Im g-glad you could be h-honest with m-me" Papyrus sobbed. Sans had never seen him like this. Never. Papyrus just didn't cry, he didn't show weakness, hell, he barely even had emotions.

Papyrus stood straight, fixing his already impeccable gloves and scarf. "i-i don't think I'm g-going to have breakfast this m-morning. I have to get to w-work" he mumbled, still crying as he rushed from the room.

Sans knew he would never betray his weaknesses to the monsters that lived outside their home and sure enough, instead of the sound of the door opening, there was a thump that Sans was pretty sure signified that Papyrus had thrown his back against the wall just outside the kitchen door. He could still hear the soft sounds of his crying, and a feeling curdled in his nonexistent stomach. Shame.

The next few days, as much as Sans hated to admit it, were wonderful. Papyrus was actively avoiding him, which, while it hurt his soul to think about, also meant that he didn't have to doge hugs and kisses and cuddles from his little brother. Sans had never felt so free, but he had also never felt so guilty.

He hadn't seen Papyrus smile since that morning.

On the seventh day, Sans went upstairs slowly, exhausted beyond belief. He collapsed into bed, falling asleep within moments, trying to avoid the thoughts of the fight that hadn't killed him, but had drained him so completely...

When Sans woke up, he was warm. He didn't remember putting a blanket on, but he could feel one shifting against his bones. Maybe, Sans thought, full of hope, Papyrus was on his way to forgiving him. Maybe he had come and put a blanket over him. Maybe he was worried about him. Sans rolled over. This was so comfortable. He had missed the feeling of a soft bed.

Wait.

A soft bed?

Sans' eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, looking around. He was in Papyrus's room. He looked over, and, sure enough, his brother was in the bed beside him.

He looked down at himself. His bare bones were catching and reflecting the morning light.

Sans's quick awakening seemed to have roused his brother. Papyrus blinked his eyes open blearily, looking around in sleepy confusion until he saw Sans looking at him.

As soon as they made eye contact, Papyrus's eyes filled with love and hope and happiness such that could barely be found elsewhere in the underground.

And then, something that should have been mundane happened. Something that Sans hadn't seen since he had given into his selfishness.

Papyrus smiled.


End file.
